4 MANAGEMENT LESSON


*Lesson Number One*
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all
day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on
the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it. /

*Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.*

*Lesson Number Two*
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied
the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump
of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by
a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

*Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there.*

*Lesson Number Three*
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain
about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should
be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so
it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally
the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole
being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and
refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands
clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the
brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be
the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

*Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!*

*Lesson Number Four*
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay
there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The
dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him! /

*Management Lessons:*
1.. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2.. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3.. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avPe9_3Shqw&NR=1